I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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