Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
