we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize