After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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