Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
