Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
