We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
