my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
