she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize