I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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