therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
