Just cropdusted the office
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
