i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
