If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize