her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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