If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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