Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
