So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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