end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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