you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
