I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
