What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
