Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
