it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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