yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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