dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
