I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
