Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
