Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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