Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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