Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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