How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
