Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
