what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
