as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
