He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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