dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
