; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
