She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
