i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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