I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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