haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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