they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
