My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
