Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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