Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
