did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
