Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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