you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He kissed a someone with a penis
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
