My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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