He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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