I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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