also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Boobs are out for the taking
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
