it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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