so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize