I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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