I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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