she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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