ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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