After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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