please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize