Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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