FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize