You surviving the open bar?
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and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize
